No Kitty, that’s MY pot pie!

My husband and I traded stories about food fights after reading THIS, a short article about a man that stabbed his brother over a Hot Pocket. For those of you that don’t know, it’s a frozen turnover filled with a cheese-like substance and either ham or pepperoni, broccoli for you vegetarians, which is then microwaved. Not exactly what I’d guess would spur a knife fight.

My sister and I once fought over a Tyson frozen and breaded chicken patty with the bonus nuggets of processed cheese, and while I don’t remember who won, I do remember dragging her around the kitchen island by her hair. I was 12 and it was summer break and my parents worked- things got a little Lord of The Flies around the house by August.

My husband remembers a brawl with his older brother, when his Easter basket came up short of Peeps.

My family was torn in half by the Great Barbecue Incident- my grandmother told my cousin she could have the leftovers, and then grandma told my aunt she could have the leftovers. People picked sides and then people went to different churches for a while.

There’s that famous poem by William Carlos Williams, where he apologizes for eating the plums… but it’s not really an apology. Those plums were tasty delicious, he wrote that poem to avert a possible argument but I bet he’d eat those plums again. George HW Bush uttered his famous oath- I am the President of the United States and I am not going to eat any more broccoli. I presume he and Bar argued for years over his green vegetable intake, but that declaration pretty much tears it. Jerry Seinfeld had quite a few episodes about food fights- Elaine and the big salad, Jerry stole a loaf of bread, the Soup Nazi. I’ve heard about mushroom hunters fighting over mushroom hunting grounds.

All this begs the question: What food is worth fighting over?


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