Brain: Puhleese, it’s January, those berries are from Peru – there is no possible way those are close to being satisfactory. Do I need to explain how cold impacts the conversion of sugars to starches again? Or how varieties of produce are bred for their looks and transportability rather than flavor? Or that the berries were probably picked days ago and ….
Eyes: No, no, Brain, really, I remember your last riveting lecture. But these are different, look – they’re perfectly ripe, I ‘m sure, and they’ll be delicious buy them buy them buy them.
Brain: Let’s smell them first. Nose, what do you detect?
Nose: Hmmmm… plastic, rubber from the band holding the jewel case closed…
Eyes: That’s what they look like! Jewels, precious edible heavenly ruby-red jewels, buy them buy them buy them…
Brain: Eyes, calm down, you’re interrupting.
Nose: Hmmm… I AM getting a bit of a cold, raspberries are delicate, perhaps I just can’t smell them.
Eyes: Yeah, we’re getting a cold, I’ve been itchy, I’m sure they’ll taste like August, precious edible red August, we should get them because we need raspberries to keep away this cold.
Brain: I don’t think we’re getting a cold, I think those berries are from 2,000 miles away and we’ll get them home and eat the first one and be utterly disappointed.
Eyes: No, no, you’re wrong. They’ll sustain us in these dark days, they’ll be really good, really. I know it.
Brain: We’re passing them.
Eyes: NOOOOOOOOoOOoooooo…. It’s not fair, it’s not fair, I want them I want them please please.
Brain: Use your indoor voice and stop talking to me like I’m an idiot.
Eyes: It’s not fair.
Brain: No, no it’s not. But that’s the way it is.
Eyes: Stop quoting movie lines to me.
Brain: I’m just trying to cheer you up. Ohh! Look at the potatoes.
Eyes: They’re brown. My whole world is one big brown room.
Brain: I thought we weren’t quoting movie lines to each other.
Eyes: BeetleJuice trumps Labyrinth. Can we please just go look at the flowers and pretend we live someplace tropical?
Nose: I’d like to go back to the deli section and smell that fried chicken again.
Brain: No, we’re on a diet, no fried chicken.
Nose: I just want to smell, I didn’t say buy.
Brain: Smelling is the same as buying. We’re hopeless at denying fried chicken, so we’re staying over here.
Nose: We’re looking at flowers.
Brain: Flowers don’t smell like fried chicken, and if they did, we’d eat those, too.
FYI- I came home with Raspberries. AND fried chicken.
I’m so weak. The berries weren’t as tasteless as I’d expected, but they went better on a cashew nut butter & twig bread sandwich, with a little twirl of honey.
Summer is a long way gone.